The Lure Guide Center

I have been counseling couples for 35 years. Quite often individuals come in for help wondering if it is really possible to save or improve their relationship. Perhaps their partner is totally uninterested in working on the relationship. Perhaps their partner is an alcoholic or drug addict. What are their chances of saving their relationship?

Since two people always get together at their common level of woundedness, here is what I say to the partner who has sought my help: “As long as you choose to remain in this relationship, there are things for you to learn. Each partner contributes their 100% to the relationship. While it is often easy to see what your partner is doing that is harmful to the relationship, it is often difficult to see what you are doing. Yet until you learn about your part in this relationship system, you will take your own dysfunctional behavior with you into another relationship. It’s generally a waste of time - unless there is physical abuse - to leave a relationship before healing your own end of the system. The time to leave is when you have learned to make yourself happy regardless of what your mate is doing. When you learn to take 100% responsibility for your own feelings and needs, and if your partner is still behaving in ways that are unacceptable to you, then it’s time to leave. You need to discover how to respond to your partner in ways that are loving to yourself and that support your own joy and highest good.”

When the partner who is available to counseling does his or her inner work, one of two things happen. Either the other partner likes what is happening and becomes more open, or the relationship becomes more distant and difficult. I tell my clients that it is a 50-50 deal - half the time things get better and half the time they get worse. They need to be okay with either outcome. If fact, I encourage them to let go of the outcome and just be in the process of learning how to take loving care of themselves.

Let’s take some examples. Craig is unhappy in his marriage because his wife, Gloria, is often angry and judgmental toward him. Craig sees himself as the victim of Gloria’s unloving behavior, blaming her for his unhappiness. However, Craig is a equal part of the relationship system. He generally reacts to Gloria’s anger with compliance, giving himself up in his covert attempt to control Gloria’s anger. He believes that being a “nice guy” will control her feelings and behavior. So, while Gloria is attempting to overtly control Craig, Craig is attempting to covertly control Gloria. Until Craig starts to speak his truth rather than give himself up as his form of control, he will feel resentful and distant with Gloria. If he has the courage to take loving care of himself by speaking his total truth without blame or judgment, and take loving action for himself based on his truth, then either things will get better or they will get worse. The only way Craig will be able to be honest and take care of himself is if he is willing to lose Gloria rather than continue to lose himself.

Marilyn is married to Martin, a non-abusive functioning alcoholic. The problem for Marilyn is that when Martin drinks, which is every night, he completely disconnects from her and she feel very lonely with him. She’s tried in many ways to get Martin to connect to her, but nothing has worked. Most nights, Marilyn just watches TV, feeling sad and alone.

Until Marilyn decides to do whatever she needs to do to make herself happy, nothing will change. If she decides to take classes, get together with friends, join a support group or go to Alanon, she will no longer be a victim of Martin’s decision to withdraw through alcohol. If Marilyn continues to take care of herself over a time - six months to a year - and nothing changes, then she can decide to leave. Or, she can decide to stay and just continue making herself happy. The possibility also exist that when Marilyn stops pulling on Martin to make her happy, he may decide to deal with himself rather than be left alone most of the time.

Can this relationship be helped? Maybe. Do your own inner work and find out!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

margaret@innerbonding.com

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The nuisance of physically going to a betting room should be reason enough to drop it unless one must go there. On a closer look all those long drives, the nuisance, and dozens of things to bear in mind cannot excuse the distress merely for this prospect of placing a wager at betting room, even so in case you are the sort of person who pines for gambling then choosing virtual casinos exploiting the World Wide Web is likely what you want to do.

It isn’t required to leave your familiar desk to have a go at online poker or other preferred games for you can do all this from your home office assuming you own a personal computer and a broadband Internet connection. Though allowing for this, don’t get all worked up to soon as there’s plenty of things which you’ll definitely want to be advised about concerning online poker or other preferred games, all the more should you be lacking first hand experience in this area. Ok, so dullen your tizzy and mull over the following. Here’s a little framework which illuminates what to pay attention to if you are pinpointing an honest and trust-worthy online poker or other preferred games website. The very first thing which every canny web plunger must hunt for is an online poker or other preferred games webpage of the kind offering its patrons top winnings. Beyond, here are some additional recommendations concerning picking out your online roulette etc webpage.

Always be sure to check the online roulette etc webpage holds an authentic license, for example by examining the license on the casino site. If you can’t localize any license on that online roulette etc webpage, don’t even try to place a wager there. Following next, we would advise you charily contemplate the sundry bonuses that the online roulette etc webpage tenders.

Mega Moolah Progressive Jackpot reaches over 4 million dollar

Moreover, another advice could be to risk a game initially with minute amounts rather than drain more than does you good off the bat. Check, first of all, the security measures of the online roulette etc outfit before running any dangerous injury, all the more that of losing your money! Last but not least, here’s the most essential remark concerning online casino gambling. It must be to always recall that any kind of gambling should be mainly about entertainment and not so much about big winnings. Wagering in an online casino is not a career, instead it’s a diversion which can help you become glad and living amusing.

Finally, after having gone with the sketched out instructions, you’re at liberty to give yourself up to the appeal of online roulette etc!

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The difficulty of calling on a gambler’s den makes it advisable to drop the idea if it can be avoided. In fact you won’t have to abandon your desk to have a go at online poker or related games for everything is done from your domestic environment if you have access to a functional computer plus, obviously, a broadband connection to the Internet. On the other hand, I’d recommend you go on reading for there are various things that you should work out in regards to online poker or related games, all the more if you happen to be a tenderfoot in this area.

Enjoy the top casino slot games and hottest online betting action.

The foremost thing that every bright internet risker is sure to look out for is an online poker or related games host of the type which has the best odds. Take care to establish the online poker or related games host is monitored by a reliable bookkeeping company to establish the quoted casino games payout routinely. You must always ensure the online texas holdem host has a legit license, e.g. by checking up on the licensing information on the casino site’s About page. If you cannot detect any licensing information on that targeted online texas holdem host, do not think of risking there.

Another principal bit of advice would obviously be to place a wager at the start in minor amounts rather than laying out so much it will hurt off the cuff. First thing, check the stability of the online texas holdem organization before chancing any dangerous injury– all the more in terms of money… And here’s another word of wisdom in regards to online texas holdem. It is bound to be never to lose sight of the fact that online gambling should be about pleasurable entertainment and much less about becoming rich. Wagering in an online casino is definitely no livelihood, on the contrary - it’s a hobby that ought to let you feel cheery and your entire life pleasing. Finally, after you have followed the elucidated prompts, set off and succumb to the allure of online texas holdem!

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I have been diligently seeking, listening, and teaching God’s
Word faithfully for the last year or two. I admit, I haven’t been
at this very long myself, but my growth in the Lord has
increased by leaps and bounds because I yearn to know
Him better. He has been very faithful in answering me and
in a timely fashion I might add. From teaching and writing
these articles, it keeps me in tune with Him and also keeps
me in my proper place. So, getting mad at Him has no
fundamental place in my life. What about you?

I am doing the work that God has set before me. He put it in
my heart that I was to study His Word and be eager to
present myself and to be approved and tested by trial, not to
be ashamed and to rightly and accurately teach His Word of
Truth to others (2 Tim. 2:15). Not wanting to disappoint Him,
my life has been dedicated to doing just that. My relationship
with Him has become an intimate one. I know God is for
real, I know His love goes beyond my human
understanding, and I also realize that God can turn from us
in great disappointment.

It has been my heart’s desire that those who come to hear
His Word from my teachings will also grow in this kind of
relationship with Him. But, as He told me and those before
me, that in teaching the truth, we will come up against
persecution and criticism and it will be a time of testing.
Satan will turn the heat up the closer we get to revealing
what a liar and deceiver he really is. I know my battles
against the powers and principalities are very real. I don’t
take them lightly.

But, for those Christians who are still on the milk, they are
the ones who need to start feeding on the substance of the
Word so they will understand God’s ways. Unfortuneately,
these are the very ones who stay away from hearing the
message that God wants them to hear. I call these
Christians “High Maintenance”. They lack a backbone and
are more about wishbones. When life is without turmoil,
they can say they are blessed, but as soon as something
starts tossing and turning, they blame God for their
discomfort. This kind of reasoning makes no sense when
you take the time to know Who God really is!

As humans, we are naturally stubborn and we want to be
right all the time. But this is exactly the kind of nature that
God is trying to break us from for “our own good.” We can
waste our time and energy being mad at God all we want,
but in the end, all that will result is us realizing our
weaknesses and humbling ourselves and asking
forgiveness. If not, we can’t expect an apology from God any
time soon.

God has said in His Word that there are reasons why He
will turn from us, He is very specific. He doesn’t change on a
whim, whatever His feelings are for the day. He never
changes! So, if God has made us mad for whatever reason,
it’s not on His end, it’s on ours! We are the ones who must
take a long hard look at ourselves. God’s already perfect,
we’re not.

I wrote an article earlier called, “Can God Really Hear Me
When I Pray?” I listed several reasons that keep our prayers
from being heard. And these are the reasons we must
examine ourselves. Our blatent disobedience to Him is one
factor that will block all our blessings. If we hold
unforgiveness or iniquity in our hearts are a couple more
reasons. Is this God’s fault? Who’s approval are we
seeking, man’s or God’s? What kind of decisions are we
making, self satisfaction or ones that please God? So, if
God isn’t listening to your prayers then it’s a problem on your
end and He wants you to realize it and repent.

There was one man in the Bible who was anointed by God
to become king. At first he was ‘little in his own eyes’. God
demands that we are humble servants. But, due to his
human pride, he became important in his own eyes and
listened to everyone else instead of God. His name was
Saul.

“And Saul said to Sammuel, I have sinned; for I have
transgressed the commandment of the Lord and your
words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.”
1 Sam. 15:24 (Amplified)

Saul did not do as God commanded him, instead, he
listened to the people and as a result God utterly turned
away from him. Sammuel reminded Saul that it is better to
obey than offer sacrifices (1 Sam. 15:22) Are we obeying
God the way He wants or are we just covering up and giving
Him superficial sacrifices that may look good to others?

From there on in, God departed from Saul, because he may
have repented with lip service, it was not in his heart to
humble himself. He intended to do evil and God saw his
intentions, they were not honest or honorable. Saul did not
intend on bringing glory to God. What are your intentions?

“Because you did not obey the voice of the Lord or execute
His fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore the Lord has done
this thing to you this day.” 1 Sam. 28:18 (Amplified)

All of Saul’s blessings were dwindled away and his
kingdom finally suffered because of it. But, David on the
other hand was set up high with blessings from God
because he was a “man after God’s own heart.” There were
many times that David sought to do evil and take things into
his own hands, but each time he humbled himself before
God and asked for forgiveness of these sins. This made all
the difference in the world.

When we can get down and humble ourselves in front of
God and ask to be forgiven, He is faithful to do just that. But,
do we go on feeling sorry for ourselves and expect God to
do us a favor? If that’s the case, you will most likely end up
being mad at Him and miss the blessings He has for you.
It’s just time we grow up and learn that we are responsible
for our own choices. It’s better to face facts and admit you
are the one at fault, not God. The sooner you make that step
of true repentance, the sooner you will start hearing God
and seeing Him move on your behalf.

It all boils down to choices. All choices have consequences.
What consequences do you want for your life, blessings or
curses? It’s up to you.

God’s love will not keep us from our trials, but His love will
see us through them.

If you feel this article has helped you understand God better,
or your relationship with Him, would you take a minute and
let me know by adding a comment? Thank you for your
support.

Vivian Gordon writes articles pertaining to God’s
instructions and the examples He has given us in order
to grow on this Christian walk with Him. She hopes that
they can inspire the Christian to grow spiritualy and
maturely in their lives.

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“The more things change the more they remain… insane.” ~ Michael Fry & T. Lewis

“Majority rule only works if you’re also considering individual rights. Because you can’t have five wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for supper.” ~ Larry Flynt

First we want this… Then we change our minds and want that… Then we revert to our first position. How are men ever supposed to know what to do?

There is no escape; it is part of our nature: We change the rules just as we please and life becomes very uncertain for our men, for suddenly what was ok last week is not anymore and then we argue when they don’t follow the rules. Let’s be consistent about what absolutely needs enforcement and what we can let go of. And when it is imperative to change rules, let’s make sure they agree with them.

My friend Danny and his wife used to invite several of us, friends, for Sunday brunch. It was always a cause for celebration. After we ate, we would help clear the table and all of us would come right back so we would continue visiting. The time we spent around the table was fantastic. Cleaning the kitchen and washing the dishes was an activity done much later in the day, after we all had had our share of visiting. The pace was slow and we loved the relaxation, until one day, while we were at the table, laughing our hearts out, we noticed she was not sitting with us. She was doing the dishes! My friend went to speak to her and we could hear this big argument because he had failed to help her do the dishes. Now, talk about changing the rules during the game!

I think situations like these are very humiliating for everyone, guests and husband, especially the husband. If she wanted the “clean the dishes” rule changed, she should have followed it herself, instead of having a tantrum in front of the guests, or even better; she could have waited until we left to have a conversation with her husband and give the new rationale for the change of heart and then they would decide in unison what to do about the situation.

Now, looking at the other side of the same coin, another couple friend invited us for dinner the other night. After we ate, he cleared the table and disappeared into the kitchen to do the dishes. When he came back, it was already time for us to go. That means that he missed the whole after dinner conversation. When I asked him why he did that (for it was only when I noticed this habit of his), he told me that this is one of his chores and he has been doing it for the longest time. He’d rather take care of the dishes immediately to avoid nagging later on. Now, could this rule be changed so everyone can enjoy visiting?

A Word of Advice:

Ladies: Please, think a lot before changing a rule that has been enforced until now.

Gents: Never accept a new rule until it is discussed and agreed upon by both parties. Plus, tantrums are a no-no.

© Maria Moratto 2005
About the author
Dr. Maria Moratto is a lifestyle coach. She promotes seminars and courses in developing the perfect life blueprint, which includes attracting abundance and loving relationships, time management, stress management, diversity, goal setting, career search and change, values clarification, leisure, self-improvement, college life, spirituality, natural health, and lifestyle. She is also writing a book on successful relationships, coming soon. Visit her website at http://www.rx4bliss.com and sign up for a free e-zine that is short, informative, and fun. Go to her blog at: http://www.rx4bliss.blogspot.com for great discussions on these topics. You may reprint this article in its entirety as long as you add this source box.

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The discomfort of physically going to a gaming establishment can be ample reason to give up on it if you can avoid it. All those long cross country drives, the discomfort, and chores involved aren’t worth the struggle only for that chance to gamble at gaming establishment, though allowing for this, if you happen to be the sort of person who is quite fanatic about casino gambling then going for virtual card-playing could be an alternate option. Visit this top gambling craps? Think again! Learn all the tricks here.

Here, you won’t have to leave your desk to have a go at online video poker etc for the reason that you’ll do all this from within your household if you have a servicable computer plus, of course, access to the Internet. Still, let’s not forget that there are quite a number of tips that you need to train yourself in in regards to online video poker etc, notably if you are a newcomer. Good, now chill that flap to let your mind read and absorb the report that follows. Here is a succint summary that illuminates what to observe if you are singling out a secure and honest online video poker etc Web site. The first thing that your wise Web risker will check out is an online video poker etc establishment of the kind guaranteeing the best odds. Looking further, here are a few select extra tips in regards to ferreting out your online gaming establishment.

Always make sure beyond doubt the online gaming establishment is genuine, e.g. by exploring the governmental permit onsite. If you’re unable to find any governmental permit on a given online gaming establishment, don’t even try to test the odds with that Web site. Next you’ll want to deliberate exhaustively the divers promos that the online gaming establishment offers. Moreover, another bit of advice is to place your wager at the outset with petty sums in place of doling out top dollars right away. First of all, check the operability of this specific online gaming system prior to daring to risk any grave risk- notably in regards to money… Finally, do mind this particular prompt in regards to online casino gaming. It is, expectably, this: never to ignore that any and all gambling is all about fun and pleasure and not about big winnings. Betting in an online casino isn’t a trade, on the contrary - it’s a leisure pursuit that should let you feel joyful and your life as a whole enjoyable.

Finally, after you have complied with the above pointers, you can bow to the beguilement of online gaming…

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Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday, April 4, 2004, at 2 a.m. This effectively moves an hour of daylight from the morning to the evening. The purpose is make better use of daylight hours.

Benjamin Franklin first came up with the idea in 1784. Daylight Saving Time was made official in the United States in 1918 but it was repealed in 1919 after the World War I ended though a few states and some cities including Chicago kept it going as a local option. From February 2,1942, to September 30,1945, President Roosevelt brought it back year round and it was called �War Time�.

From 1945 to 1966 localities were permitted to use Daylight Saving Time if they desired, and many did so. But this caused some difficulties with the transportation and radio, and TV business which had to publish varying schedules.

On January 4, 1974, President Nixon signed into law the Daylight Saving Time Energy Act of 1973. Clocks were set ahead for a 15 month period until April 27, 1975.

In 1986 a Federal law was amended to begin Daylight Saving Time on the first Sunday in April at 2 a.m. and ending at 2 a.m. on the last Sunday of October. It is NOT observed in Hawaii, the Eastern Time Zone portion of the State of Indiana, and by most of Arizona.. The rules vary significantly throughout the world. About 70 countries utilize Daylight Saving Time.

There are some good reasons to save those daylight hours.

The U.S. Department of Transportation performed a study which revealed that one more hour of daylight saves about 1% of the electrical usage throughout the country because 25% of the usage is done when the sun goes down. That is when we turn on the lights and fire up the TVs and computers. In addition, the study found that Americans just plain like the extra hour of daylight in the evening so they can lengthen their outdoor activities.

Some people complain about daylight savings time. People with sleep disorders, for example, can be severely affected. Other people simply do not like to go through the trouble of changing the clocks.

Love it or hate it, don’t forget to push your clock ahead this weekend or you might find yourself late for Church on Sunday morning.

Greg Cryns is the founder of McHenry Online, a website devoted to events in McHenry County, Illinois
http://www.mchenryonline.com
He is also the owner of http://www.wahmsearchengine - Wahm Search Engine that focuses on information for people who work from home.

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There are two stresses in your life, which if you change can improve your health, energy, stress levels and longevity.

They are very easy to change. It is just a matter of knowing what your two biggest stresses are.

Firstly, defining stress helps you understand why these stresses are so important. Stress is …

.”anything you expend energy on”

Yes, simple as that. Stress is any task you expend energy on. There is good stress and bad stress. All stress requires energy to deal with it.

The biggest stresses use up more energy. Energy that must come from somewhere. Energy that depletes functions in the body, which can lead to poor health, low energy levels and a shorter life span.

If these two stresses are not dealt with, you are losing energy faster than you should. Energy that is used to support your body and allow you to live longer.

Changing these stresses, returns energy to you. This in turn will improve your health, day to day energy levels, help you deal with other stresses easier, and allow you to live longer and happier.

So by now you may be wondering, “what is the biggest stress in my life?” It is an area that you seldom think about. It is a stress that is around you all day and every day. It is a stress that adults believe they deal with, yet children know they can’t.

It is a stress that takes more energy from you and with time will create poor health, bend you spine and even cause you to lose height as you age. Yes, one of the biggest stresses in your life is ….

Gravity.

Gravity requires you to use energy. Try floating in the air for example. Every part of the day where you sit or stand, you are fighting gravity. The problem is… gravity is winning.

If you only sit or stand when you have to, and lie down every other time. You will notice you suddenly have a few extra hours in the day where you can lie down.

Laying down means no energy is spent on gravity. Energy that fills your reserve tank, to help your health, day to day energy, helps you fight other stresses. Less gravity stress means less degeneration to joints, less shrinking with time, less pressure on your organs.

Try lying down more regularly. Watch children, they lie down all the time and have a plentiful supply of energy. They also deal with stress better mostly. You don’t have to sleep, just lie down to

… read

… listen to music

… watch television

… or just relax.

You can do it on the floor, couch or outside on the grass.

Very simple, just - “only sit or stand if you have to”.

The energy you will gain will surprise you. You will be astounded at hoe much better you feel (totally - health, stress, energy, happiness) at the end of the day and week. In the weekends you will feel better, lighter and happier. Work becomes less stressful and your enthusiasm and motivation will increase.

Gravity is one of the two biggest stresses. Easy to change, simple to do. You may now be wondering what the other stress is? If gravity is one stress you didn’t think of then the other stress is also just as baffling.

In part 2, the second of the two major stresses will be unveiled.

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For all the Tips & Techniques to Reduce Stress and Boost Your Energy simply click here.

Dr Graeme Teague has been in private practice since 1991, teaching and treating many clients with emotional and general health conditions.

Through his many teaching seminars and extensive professional knowledge, he has now released two new e-books on the many simple and effective ways to be healthy and stress free.

His new web-site is dedicated to teaching you ways to improve your health with orthodox and natural techniques.

Just click here to visit Fast Stress Relief.

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